The Need to Be Transparent in My Singleness

My last blog post spawned a great conversation with my friend Katie, one of the few single Christian friends I have. God did blessed with me her for so many reasons and I am just thankful for her everyday! Katie and I often discuss our frustrations with being single. Soon we are starting the Captivating book together and I will be blogging some on that! We also spend A LOT of time talking about Hunter Hayes. He is just our favorite and we find him absolutely adorable.

Seriously, he's adorable!

But I digress. We both have many ups and downs with being single and I feel in my last post I tried to be funny and tie all my feelings up nicely by saying that I am just trusting in God's time. But friends, this can be SO hard. So hard it keeps me up at night. So hard that when people get engaged I am happy for them and then usually break down crying because I don't understand why that isn't me.   A big reason I worry about being single forever is because I am not a cookie cutter Christian girl. I enjoy drinking whiskey, like going out to bars to dance, enjoy some crude humor, sometimes have the mouth of a sailor and have many non-Christian friends. In my head most Christian guys marry these beautiful, almost perfect Christian women who are polite and lovely all the time. Obviously this isn't true and I am over-generalizing here but I feel I am just way outside the norm for Christian women. 


And with all of these things I think are outside the norm, I love them about myself. Well maybe not the cussing, but I work hard at controlling it. And seriously, what woman in general do you know who prefers to drink whiskey over anything else? You probably don’t know one and I like that it makes me unique. Yet all of this is why I fear I will forever be single, because I don't feel these are typical Christian women things. These things just keep me up at night my friends. It's hard, because 96.8% of the time I love who I am. (No one loves who they are 100% of the time. If they say they do they are lying.) And because of the love and respect I have for myself refuse to change these quirks about me to fit some cookie cutter mold I have in my head. I can thank Satan for this mold I have in my head, as I am 100% certain he put it there to make me doubt myself. Ugh, Satan is the worst. Knowing that it’s Satan I still feel it won't be good enough for some handsome Christian man because he has better, more lady like options. 

Oh friends, this is just so hard and frustrating at times. It's such a back and forth with emotions. One day I LOVE being single and all the freedom. The next day I am crying in the shower thinking…

So friends, this week I hope you can pray for your single friends and for Katie and I as we go through this. Pray that God brings us that perfect man to match our quirkiness. Pray that we can embrace our singleness and utilize it to do His work.  Pray that we can trust in God and His timing. And finally, pray that we can have patience in waiting. It's really hard. 

I also ask that you ladies in relationships make time for your single gal pals. We want to hang out too! We would probably be okay being the third wheel. (One time I was the 13th wheel and had a blast!) We love seeing you happy, but it makes us doubt why we haven't found the one like you have. So please do us a favor and plan a girls night. Try to not talk about your better half as much and please, oh please don't ask us about our love life. That question just makes us feel worse. Seriously though, I hate that question. I'm already frustrated enough and then people have to point it out. Being single isn't a disease and it really is okay, it's just sometimes hard. So let’s all go out this week trying to embrace who we are, and know that others are struggling with things as well. Also, try to hug someone, hugs make the world a better place for everyone.